Koinervetti continua l’immersione nello sconfinato mondo dell’arte e riemerge con un #ATuPerTu. Protagonista dell’intervista è Martina Panini, Make Up Artist dall’indiscusso talento con una storia non semplice per il disturbo di identità di genere quanto unica e fonte di preziosi insegnamenti e riflessioni.
Ecco la piacevole chiacchierata con Martina:
- La questione dell’identità di genere viene tutt’oggi vissuta come un taboo in molte famiglie, specialmente da parte dei componenti più anziani. Tuttavia, questo non sembra essere il tuo caso: tua nonna ha avuto un ruolo fondamentale. Ti va di parlarci di lei?
M: Il disturbo di identità di genere purtroppo ancora oggi è un taboo per molte persone, non solo anziani ma anche genitori che non accettano i propri figli. È una disforia che non va mai giudicata, va compresa, aiutando. Mia nonna, essendo anziana, poteva benissimo rifiutarmi. Invece no. Lei è stata la nonna più aperta, amava vedermi felice.
Mia nonna Antonia, classe 1909, aveva già avuto 12 nipoti, io ero la più piccola dei 13 e la più viziata, perchè mi lasciava la libertà di esprimermi e di fare quello che volevo quando stavo con lei. La mia era una famiglia purtroppo a quei tempi molto tradizionalista e io, stando con i miei genitori, dovevo rispettare la loro volontà nel vedermi maschio. Nonna mi abbracciava sempre perchè sapeva che con lei potevo stare serena.
Quando iniziai a dire la verità, lei ci rimase un po’ male. Perchè a 23 anni e non prima? Da lì iniziò a guardarmi impaurita perchè già pensava alla cattiveria delle persone, alle brutte parole che mi avrebbero detto, alla mia sordità. Mia nonna si fece coraggio. Era il mio pilastro di vita perchè lei sapeva tutto, aveva capito tante cose. Iniziammo a parlare, ad aiutarci a vicenda, fino a quando poi morì. Mi lasciò i suoi risparmi, come aveva promesso, e mi rese felice permettendomi di sottopormi all’operazione. Si avverò. Nel momento del mio risveglio vidi la sua anima, a Bangkok dove mi operai, mi disse: “Martina, ora che sei felice devo andarmene…” Da lì non la rividi più…
- Dopo 10 anni sei tornata a Miami: cosa rappresenta quel luogo per te?
M: Miami è stato un capitolo della mia vita molto importante. Lì ho iniziato la mia vita da donna, senza problemi, tacchi à gogo, trucco e tanti vestiti da femmina. È stato tutto grazie a mio zio. Lo zio d’America esiste e ce l’ho io! Lui mi ha sempre lasciata libera, libera di esprimere la mia vita senza regole, a patto di portare rispetto a lui e alla sua famiglia.
Nel 2009 quando iniziai la prima avventura in America, la prima città fu Miami: lì era tutto aperto e tranquillo, non c’erano pregiudizi, vedevo la libertà di parlare e di imparare tante cose nuove. Io imparai a conoscere il “mondo aperto”. Con il tempo ho imparato anche a capire che la migliore difesa è l’indifferenza, e ci sto provando tutt’ora. Tornare lì dopo 10 anni, già evoluta, già cambiata, mi ha portato indietro nel tempo e ricordato i lamenti, la sofferenza. Ora invece sorrido, il mio viso si è illuminato perchè adesso sono felice.
- In un delicato percorso transitorio come quello che hai affrontato, quanto è importante il supporto di una figura professionale come lo psicologo?
M: Nel percorso dell’iter transitorio è importante la figura dello psicologo, perchè ci aiuta molto a capire il nostro blocco. Quando iniziai la seduta con la psicologa, capii che nel percorso avrei dovuto fare determinate cose, farle senza vergogna, cercando di provare a capire cosa volevo. Io lo feci per me stessa e da lì capii cosa significava vivere senza barriere. Bisogna comunque sempre trovare una persona professionale, che sappia fare al meglio il suo lavoro, parlo anche a livello umano. Solo dopo svariate visite psicologiche sono riuscita a iniziare la terapia ormonale.
- I tuoi tatuaggi raccontano in qualche modo la tua storia? In particolare, il simbolo della Triplice Dea è legato al tuo nickname “LaStregaDelMakeUp”?
M: I miei tatuaggi raccontano molto la mia storia, la storia di una Strega che ha i doni di leggere le persone e capirle. Si chiama Sensibilità e le streghe sono quelle che hanno una sintonia immensa con l’uomo e la natura. Il tatuaggio che rappresenta questo aspetto in particolare è la Triquetra, simbolo celtico le cui tre punte indicano il ciclo della vita: nascita, morte e rinascita. Fa parte di me, rappresenta il mio percorso transitorio verso l’autentica me stessa. Così ho creato un mio nickname: Martina La Strega Del Make Up. Per molte persone sono magica, perchè nel mio lavoro, truccando le persone, uso il dono di entrare nelle loro menti, liberandole magari di un peso. Provate a chiederlo alle ragazze che ho truccato…
- Curi molto il tuo aspetto. Siamo curiosi di sapere a quali icone femminili ti ispiri maggiormente.
M: Il mio aspetto, la cura di me stessa, è solo frutto della mia forza interiore, che si è sviluppata lottando contro la cattiveria altrui. Le mie icone femminili sono la Strega Lilith, la prima strega femminista amante della libertà, che non si sarebbe mai sottomessa a nessuno, e le mie sorelle femministe, parlo di tutte le donne che hanno affrontato il peggio.
- Fai parte del “grande giorno” di molte donne, realizzando il make up delle spose. Pensi che arriverà anche per te questo momento?
M: Il grande giorno di molte spose per me è un giorno molto importante. Le realizzo con la magia del mio make up, le aiuto a sentirsi meravigliose, anche se in realtà lo sono sempre. Mi fotografano nei momenti in cui le trucco, così mi fanno sentire importante. Voglio la loro felicità perchè io purtroppo non credo più nell’amore. Non credo ci sarà un matrimonio nella mia vita, per una femminista come me che è sempre stata bene da sola. Meglio truccare le spose!
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